Goodwill Stores

I was shopping at goodwill, and am terrified beyond belief of what I encountered. Deep within the shadowy aisles of overpriced-even-though-they-got-them-for-free items, lurks the manager of goodwill. An uslightly woman, from the cretatious period. (We'll call her Manager 1) In the downtime between verbally abusing coworkers or customers, I've heard she uses her stringy hair to pop her head out from between sweaters and wrap it around your neck, ultimately bringing you to your untimely demise. The hair is coated with what seems to be leftover grease from Steak n' Shake across the street, which makes sense... because much like smelling cucumber when a copperhead snake is nearby, you know she is lurking in your presence when you catch a whiff of old beef and onion rings. Just because you're keeping an eye (and nose) out for her, doesn't mean you are out of the woods yet, my dear. Similar to the aglae fish that attach to sharks and whales, this manager also has a sidekick. (Manager 2). Researchers have concluded that the sidekick aids in the verbal attacks performed by manager 1. Much like velociraptors, Manager 2 uses her bright red, unruly mane to put victims into a state of shock. ("Is that...hair??") Meanwhile Manager 1 positions herself for attack. You didn't even know she was there... Clever girl... Now, no one knows the reason behind these managers' attacks, but research is investigating a possible cause. The managers may have been overexposed to fluorescent lighting, along with chartreuse colored uniforms that, when processed through a brain from the cretatious period, in which they are familiar only with natural light, triggers a fight or flight response, but there is no way for them to escape goodwill, thus leaving solely the "fight" response. As the paleobotanist from Jurrasic Park says, "these are creatures from millions of years ago, who have no idea what century they're in; and they will defend themselves, violently if necessary."

Very clean and organized but there is an older lady that is always there that is so incredibly rude. Every time I'm there she is just so nasty. Everyone else there is nice but I am an adult and don't appreciate being scolded while spending my money. There are plenty of other thrift stores in the area so I probably won't be going back.