United States Postal Service

The U.S. Post Office is an awesome public service. For just forty-four cents, you can send a Mother’s Day card from anywhere in the United States to the woman who carried you for nine months, providing she lives in the United States and it will arrive in a matter of days. Or as Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart more simply quipped, “Someone comes to your house, takes something you’ve written, and brings it to a person that you want them to give it to anywhere in the world for like fifty cents,” before deadpanning, “oh, but it’s going to take a couple of days.”

Won't answer phone. Won't bring large packages to the door, just drops them in the yard. Loses mail frequently. Total waste of money.